Last night the group met in Newport for road intervals. I am not a fan of speedwork, but was glad that we are finally having cooler weather. I was wearing a running skirt and tank top and was starting to feel uncomfortably cool before we started running. So, perfect running weather, really. We had a 2 mile warm up and then re-grouped in Cincinnati for intervals. The plan was to do four 1-mile loops at one minute faster than your goal marathon pace. My goal marathon pace is 9:30, so I should have been doing my loops in 8:30, but somehow I ended up with the 8:00 minute group.
I don't think I have ever run an 8 minute mile in my life, but last night I somehow completed a loop in 7:54. What?!?! A sub 8-minute mile? Holy crap! I guess it's just that the memory of barely being able to run two minutes without stopping are still so fresh in my memory. I was so excited the first time I was able to complete 3 miles without walking, and here I am two years later actually looking and feeling like a real runner!
I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. I have worked hard over these couple years to improve my fitness, but it always amazes me. When I started running, I thought "I don't think I can do a 10k" and then I did one. Then I thought "I don't know if I can do a half marathon" and then I did that, too. Then I thought "Well, I guess I can try a marathon, but I don't think I can run that far." Then I did, twice! So I guess I shoud stop doubting myself. If I actually had more confidence maybe I could be even faster.
So I had a great workout last night, especially considering that it was two days after a 20 mile run. On Monday I had a lovely massage which probably also helped with recovery. Unfortunately, though, I woke up pretty sore this morning, and now I am starting to feel like I am getting a cold. I am a little concerned about overtraining. I don't want to get sick now in the final weeks of training, so I am going to take tonight off. Normally I run on Thursday mornings, too, but I think I'm going to sleep a little more tomorrow. If I am feeling better tomorrow afternoon, then I will run a few miles in the afternoon before my workout at the gym.
This Saturday's run is 14 miles in O'Bryonville. Hopefully I will be feeling better. Until I'll be taking it easy.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
...Five Months Later
You can officially call me the worst blog updater in the world. I love following blogs and really admire people who keep theirs up to date and include fancy stuff like videos and pictures, but where do they find the time? Or more specifically, where do the find the time to update their blog AND have a life? I don't know... maybe they sleep a lot less then me. I guess it's beside the point now. Here I am, five months later, and I have a lot of writing to do to fill you in on what has happened since April. Let's call it the Reader's Digest Version:
Injury: Plica Syndrome. After my "lucky" twenty (hello, note to self: never call anything lucky again) I started having serious knee pain in my left knee. I went to the Ortho who said I have Plica syndrome. It's left over fetal tissue in the knee that can get irritated by repetetive motion (i.e. running.) I had a cortinsone shot and he told me that the decision to run the marathon was up to me and what I thought would be best. I rested for a couple weeks, but the pain was still there. As much as I wanted to run the Flying Pig, Chicago is more important to me, since I don't know if or when I will go back there again. I know I will have a chance to run the Pig again next year. It was a difficult decision, but in the end, I didn't run. Instead, I made other impulsive decisions that would have lots of implications in my life.
Personal Training: One of my impulsive decisions and efforts to make myself feel better after missing the marathon. I committed to a year and I'm trying to take my overall fitness up another level. With the trainer I work mostly on upper body and core. Having a stronger upper body has really had a positive affect on my running. Its expensive, but worth it so far. I have noticed a difference in my body, too. After so many years of being a bigger girl, its kind of strange getting used to looking different and being noticed. At first, it is flattering to know that people are looking because I look good. But the more I think about it, the more I start to wonder. Would these people have cared or gotten to know me before when I was out of shape and less attractive? Wasn't I the same person then as I am now? Wasn't I worth knowing before? The experience is just making me aware of how much looks can affect the way people are treated. People can be so superficial.
Recovery: So, I took about 3 weeks off running, then started gradually running again. First on a treadmill, then back to running outside. Once I was able to do 5 miles outside without serious knee pain, I knew I would be good to go for Chicago. That 5 miles felt so good.
So, now I am back with the training group. We started up again in June. Lindsay and Holly are both running, but they are training for a half, so I don't get to run with them very often. I have been able to pick up my pace, and have been doing my long runs at a consistent 9:30. I think it is possible that I will finish in under 4:15. It would be so sweet to be able to say I cut 40 minutes off my previous marathon time. This past Saturday we ran 2o miles. I was feeling pretty tired at the end, but still strong. The tank wasn't empty, so I think that's a good sign. The weather is cooling off and we have had a much milder summer in general compared to last year, which has really helped me.
I'm going to try and start updating regularly again. I am about 1 month away from Chicago. I also signed up for the Indianapolis half which is one week after that. I am going with Lindsay and another girl from the running group, Melanie, for a girls weekend. It should be really fun. September 20th is my last scheduled long run (22 miles) and then the taper begins. It's all about staying healthy and injury-free until race time.
Recovery: So, I took about 3 weeks off running, then started gradually running again. First on a treadmill, then back to running outside. Once I was able to do 5 miles outside without serious knee pain, I knew I would be good to go for Chicago. That 5 miles felt so good.
So, now I am back with the training group. We started up again in June. Lindsay and Holly are both running, but they are training for a half, so I don't get to run with them very often. I have been able to pick up my pace, and have been doing my long runs at a consistent 9:30. I think it is possible that I will finish in under 4:15. It would be so sweet to be able to say I cut 40 minutes off my previous marathon time. This past Saturday we ran 2o miles. I was feeling pretty tired at the end, but still strong. The tank wasn't empty, so I think that's a good sign. The weather is cooling off and we have had a much milder summer in general compared to last year, which has really helped me.
I'm going to try and start updating regularly again. I am about 1 month away from Chicago. I also signed up for the Indianapolis half which is one week after that. I am going with Lindsay and another girl from the running group, Melanie, for a girls weekend. It should be really fun. September 20th is my last scheduled long run (22 miles) and then the taper begins. It's all about staying healthy and injury-free until race time.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Lucky 20
Is there something magical about 20 miles, or have I just been lucky up until now? This past Saturday's run went really well, but I can't say my confidence was 100% leading up to that day.
The previous week's 18 went much better than I expected, but it took a lot out of me. I felt pretty wiped out and sore afterwards. I did an easy 3 miles on Tuesday, and then we met in Norwood last Wednesday for 8.5 miles. We had a simple out and back route going down Madison to Walnut Hills. I was tired starting out, and the weather was warmer than it has been all year. I just didn't have much energy to put towards the run. Thankfully, Lindsay was there, and she wasn't feeling 100%, either. We turned around early and made it 7 instead of 8.5. I guess we wimped out, but I just wasn't feeling it, and I didn't feel like pushing myself only days before our longest training run.
I took Thursday and Friday off to recover. Since coming back from my trip, I have had nagging pain in my quads that just wouldn't go away. I decided to rest and hope that it would be enough time to let those muscles recover. I had a carb filled pasta dinner on Friday night and prayed that Saturday would go well. Weather was great for running - about 40 degrees. That's exactly how I like it, cool. Actually, it was almost a little too cold with a cold wind that didn't seem to let up. We started out in
Newport
The group met up at the Levee. Lindsay and Holly were both there, and we decided that our strategy would be to go out slow and be conservative. We set out through Kentucky following most of the Pig route and settled into a nice relaxing pace with a small group of people as everyone spread out.
Linn & 8th Street
First water stop. I thought it was a little early to be eating a Gu, so I just sipped on my diluted Endurance Formula Gatorade (can't drink that stuff straight up) and took in the lovely scenery of the west end. I also figured out where Emily and I took a wrong turn last week. We continued through downtown and then into
Eden Park
The hills that killed me during the 18 miler seemed so much easier. I was glad that I had paced myself well and made a note to remember this feeling during the marathon. If I pace myself, hopefully I will be feeling just as good as I was on Saturday. We chugged on up the hill to the second water stop at the Eden Park overlook. I enjoyed the view of the city and ate my first Gu. By this point, Lindsay was having a hard time keeping up with Holly and I. She told us to go on ahead because she wasn't feeling great. I felt bad, but we headed out with the ten minute mile group, led by one of the coaches, Brian.
Madison
I was really excited to have made it up all the major hills, especially since I was feeling really great. Runner's high in full effect. I had to keep reminding myself that I still had about 11 miles to go and that I needed to pace. Despite those reminders, I broke away from the 10 minute group and ran out ahead. I was feeling awesome as we passed the Running Spot. We turned down Erie and continued on. All the while, Coach Brian was filling us in on the Pig course. He's somewhat of an expert and was letting us know exactly what part of the course we were on, and what it would be like on race day. I ran along, content to listen and look around.
Paxton/Wasson/Marburg
At this point, I pushed further ahead of the 10 minute group. I was alone for most of this part of the run, and just let my mind wander. I ran past Coach Cathy, who was one of my mentors when I first started running. She is one of the few people who can talk non-stop while running. Her hilarious stories motivated me through many miles. At the corner of Marburg and Erie was another water stop where we fueled up again.
Delta
We headed up Erie and Coach Brian let us know that this part of our run was not part of the Pig course, which we were glad to hear, since it is enough of a hill just to be annoying. Once we hit the top, it was down, down, down Delta. I was kind of concerned about my quads bothering me again, but I kept the pace slower and I was still feeling good.
Eastern
The last few miles of the Pig. There isn't much to look at, but Brian kept it interesting with race day psychology and tips. There is a church on Eastern (I think it is St. Rose) and from that point you only have 5k to the finish. "It's all mental from this point on." I was contemplating how some people have the energy to talk almost non-stop during along run. We had another water stop, and then Holly and I continued ahead of that group again. I started to feel the pain during the last few miles on Eastern, and there is a stupid little hill that comes out of nowhere! I will be remembering that hill during the other parts of the race when I am tempted to go too fast.
Downtown
This was the last little loop that we had to add on to make it 20 miles (actually 20.5.) The wind was blowing so hard, I could hardly believe it. We were running against the wind and at times it was gusting so much that I felt like my legs were going to blow out from under me. I was wearing cut away shorts and I feel sorry for whoever was behind me and may have permanent eye damage after seeing half of my butt cheek. By that point, though, I was too tired to care.
One last bridge and we made it! I didn't walk at all and I was really happy with the run. My legs were definitely tired and sore, but I feel like I know now how to pace myself and make sure I have enough energy left to finish strong. My left knee has been bothering me a little since then, so I have been icing religiously and skipped running today for the elliptical machine. I don't want to injure myself now when we are only 3 weeks out!
I'll leave you with another picture from our trip to Argentina. I'm still recovering psychologically, but I feel much better. Here is a pic of my in-laws. (I know you can see the crazy.) Check out my mother in-law's hair. Don't worry, they don't speak English.
The previous week's 18 went much better than I expected, but it took a lot out of me. I felt pretty wiped out and sore afterwards. I did an easy 3 miles on Tuesday, and then we met in Norwood last Wednesday for 8.5 miles. We had a simple out and back route going down Madison to Walnut Hills. I was tired starting out, and the weather was warmer than it has been all year. I just didn't have much energy to put towards the run. Thankfully, Lindsay was there, and she wasn't feeling 100%, either. We turned around early and made it 7 instead of 8.5. I guess we wimped out, but I just wasn't feeling it, and I didn't feel like pushing myself only days before our longest training run.
I took Thursday and Friday off to recover. Since coming back from my trip, I have had nagging pain in my quads that just wouldn't go away. I decided to rest and hope that it would be enough time to let those muscles recover. I had a carb filled pasta dinner on Friday night and prayed that Saturday would go well. Weather was great for running - about 40 degrees. That's exactly how I like it, cool. Actually, it was almost a little too cold with a cold wind that didn't seem to let up. We started out in
Newport
The group met up at the Levee. Lindsay and Holly were both there, and we decided that our strategy would be to go out slow and be conservative. We set out through Kentucky following most of the Pig route and settled into a nice relaxing pace with a small group of people as everyone spread out.
Linn & 8th Street
First water stop. I thought it was a little early to be eating a Gu, so I just sipped on my diluted Endurance Formula Gatorade (can't drink that stuff straight up) and took in the lovely scenery of the west end. I also figured out where Emily and I took a wrong turn last week. We continued through downtown and then into
Eden Park
The hills that killed me during the 18 miler seemed so much easier. I was glad that I had paced myself well and made a note to remember this feeling during the marathon. If I pace myself, hopefully I will be feeling just as good as I was on Saturday. We chugged on up the hill to the second water stop at the Eden Park overlook. I enjoyed the view of the city and ate my first Gu. By this point, Lindsay was having a hard time keeping up with Holly and I. She told us to go on ahead because she wasn't feeling great. I felt bad, but we headed out with the ten minute mile group, led by one of the coaches, Brian.
Madison
I was really excited to have made it up all the major hills, especially since I was feeling really great. Runner's high in full effect. I had to keep reminding myself that I still had about 11 miles to go and that I needed to pace. Despite those reminders, I broke away from the 10 minute group and ran out ahead. I was feeling awesome as we passed the Running Spot. We turned down Erie and continued on. All the while, Coach Brian was filling us in on the Pig course. He's somewhat of an expert and was letting us know exactly what part of the course we were on, and what it would be like on race day. I ran along, content to listen and look around.
Paxton/Wasson/Marburg
At this point, I pushed further ahead of the 10 minute group. I was alone for most of this part of the run, and just let my mind wander. I ran past Coach Cathy, who was one of my mentors when I first started running. She is one of the few people who can talk non-stop while running. Her hilarious stories motivated me through many miles. At the corner of Marburg and Erie was another water stop where we fueled up again.
Delta
We headed up Erie and Coach Brian let us know that this part of our run was not part of the Pig course, which we were glad to hear, since it is enough of a hill just to be annoying. Once we hit the top, it was down, down, down Delta. I was kind of concerned about my quads bothering me again, but I kept the pace slower and I was still feeling good.
Eastern
The last few miles of the Pig. There isn't much to look at, but Brian kept it interesting with race day psychology and tips. There is a church on Eastern (I think it is St. Rose) and from that point you only have 5k to the finish. "It's all mental from this point on." I was contemplating how some people have the energy to talk almost non-stop during along run. We had another water stop, and then Holly and I continued ahead of that group again. I started to feel the pain during the last few miles on Eastern, and there is a stupid little hill that comes out of nowhere! I will be remembering that hill during the other parts of the race when I am tempted to go too fast.
Downtown
This was the last little loop that we had to add on to make it 20 miles (actually 20.5.) The wind was blowing so hard, I could hardly believe it. We were running against the wind and at times it was gusting so much that I felt like my legs were going to blow out from under me. I was wearing cut away shorts and I feel sorry for whoever was behind me and may have permanent eye damage after seeing half of my butt cheek. By that point, though, I was too tired to care.
One last bridge and we made it! I didn't walk at all and I was really happy with the run. My legs were definitely tired and sore, but I feel like I know now how to pace myself and make sure I have enough energy left to finish strong. My left knee has been bothering me a little since then, so I have been icing religiously and skipped running today for the elliptical machine. I don't want to injure myself now when we are only 3 weeks out!
I'll leave you with another picture from our trip to Argentina. I'm still recovering psychologically, but I feel much better. Here is a pic of my in-laws. (I know you can see the crazy.) Check out my mother in-law's hair. Don't worry, they don't speak English.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Mind Over Matter
I made it. It wasn't easy or pretty, but I managed to run 18 miles on Saturday. I was really excited to see Emily, but also worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with her.
Here is the route. We met at the store. The plan was to do a loop in Hyde Park, then head downtown, through Kentucky, and back up through Eden Park. The route is for 16.5 miles. The option for 18 was to add a loop on at the end that involved passing the store. When I see the store, I am done. I have a mental block about passing it, and I knew it would be even harder considering that I would have just run 16 miles. I came up with a new plan to add on by circling mirror lake in Eden Park. The first few miles felt really fast. The whole time I was thinking, I must still be really worn out from my trip. I could tell my legs were still fatigued from Wednesday's 8 miles. We looped back to pass the store at about 3.5 miles and I was honestly worried that I wouldn't make it. Emily looked at her watch, though, and realized that we had done under 10 minute miles. No wonder it felt fast! Luckily, she wasn't feeling like it was going to be a fast day for her, either, so we slowed down as we headed down Madison to Gilbert.
At the bottom of Gilbert we had our first water stop. I did my first Gu (Espresso Love) and ate a Tums. You can imagine the delightful taste that was left in my mouth. Anyway, it was on down Eggelston and then over the first bridge into Kentucky. Once we got over the Taylor Southgate bridge, I finally started to feel better. That's when I thought, okay, maybe I can do this. We powered over the bridges (especially Clay Wade Bailey when we started talking about falling off. Yikes!) We were supposed to take Linn to 8th street or something like that, but I think we took a wrong turn and cut a little bit out. I'm still kind of confused about it, but the important thing is that we made it back downtown and down seventh street. Joe's truck was there on seventh for another water/gu stop. Someone there said we only had about 4 miles to go from there. I couldn't believe it. Then I remembered that we still had to add on in the park, but still, that was only 1.5 more miles. The first part of the run went by so fast!
I guess it was because Emily and I were chatting, which always helps runs go by faster. When we started running again after that stop, it hurt. My legs were really starting to hurt. We ran up Gilbert until we got to the Baldwin building, and then took our first walk break. We walked up the hill into the park and then started running again up to the lake and around. We circled the lake four times and then stopped for a bathroom break. Another watch check showed that we had been keeping about a 10 minute mile pace, so I didn't really feel so bad about feeling tired. We started up the hill towards Krohn Conservatory at a walk. This is the worst hill. It just is. Even when your legs aren't tired, this hill sucks, and after 15 miles, it sucks even more. As Emily and I were walking we heard this sound like a goose flying up behind us. This guy was running up the hill pushing a stroller, and on every exhale he was making this bizarre sound that was like a goose. Emily and I let him pass and then tried not to laugh out loud and he continued ahead of us. We picked up a run and managed to make it to the top. We took one more short break on Victory Parkway before running it in. From Mirror Lake on, I wanted to stop sooooo badly. My legs were hurting, but I just told myself "No, you are not stopping."
Yesterday, I definitely think that the mental part of the run was the hardest, but I made it. Having Emily there made a huge difference. I'm sure that if I had been alone, I would have walked a LOT more. Having someone there to complain with or who can entertain you with stories about college rowing team can really make a difference between a good run and a bad run. So, thanks, Emily! I wouldn't have made it without you!
Making it through that run has definitely helped me get some confidence back. I think I needed a sort of running reality check. I needed to remember that running does not always feel great, but that the pain what makes you stronger. Next weekend is our 20 miler. We are meeting in Newport, which means Eden Park hills and bridges again, but at least this time they will be at the beginning of the run.
Tomorrow's plan is 5.5 miles easy around the neighborhood. Its supposed to be nice out, so I can't wait to enjoy another great day. We were lucky with Saturday's weather, too. It was sunny and about 50 degrees, perfect running weather.
The marathon is coming up so fast, and so is the first run of the Dirt Days Trail Series. That's a series of four trail runs that the Running Spot puts on in different parks. The first race is on April 20th in Ault Park. I'm really excited, but I need to be careful not to wipe out and hurt myself before the marathon.
I think that's all for tonight. It's been one week since I got back from Argentina, and I finally feel like things are mostly back to normal. One more week of tough training, and then it's taper time!
Here is the route. We met at the store. The plan was to do a loop in Hyde Park, then head downtown, through Kentucky, and back up through Eden Park. The route is for 16.5 miles. The option for 18 was to add a loop on at the end that involved passing the store. When I see the store, I am done. I have a mental block about passing it, and I knew it would be even harder considering that I would have just run 16 miles. I came up with a new plan to add on by circling mirror lake in Eden Park. The first few miles felt really fast. The whole time I was thinking, I must still be really worn out from my trip. I could tell my legs were still fatigued from Wednesday's 8 miles. We looped back to pass the store at about 3.5 miles and I was honestly worried that I wouldn't make it. Emily looked at her watch, though, and realized that we had done under 10 minute miles. No wonder it felt fast! Luckily, she wasn't feeling like it was going to be a fast day for her, either, so we slowed down as we headed down Madison to Gilbert.
At the bottom of Gilbert we had our first water stop. I did my first Gu (Espresso Love) and ate a Tums. You can imagine the delightful taste that was left in my mouth. Anyway, it was on down Eggelston and then over the first bridge into Kentucky. Once we got over the Taylor Southgate bridge, I finally started to feel better. That's when I thought, okay, maybe I can do this. We powered over the bridges (especially Clay Wade Bailey when we started talking about falling off. Yikes!) We were supposed to take Linn to 8th street or something like that, but I think we took a wrong turn and cut a little bit out. I'm still kind of confused about it, but the important thing is that we made it back downtown and down seventh street. Joe's truck was there on seventh for another water/gu stop. Someone there said we only had about 4 miles to go from there. I couldn't believe it. Then I remembered that we still had to add on in the park, but still, that was only 1.5 more miles. The first part of the run went by so fast!
I guess it was because Emily and I were chatting, which always helps runs go by faster. When we started running again after that stop, it hurt. My legs were really starting to hurt. We ran up Gilbert until we got to the Baldwin building, and then took our first walk break. We walked up the hill into the park and then started running again up to the lake and around. We circled the lake four times and then stopped for a bathroom break. Another watch check showed that we had been keeping about a 10 minute mile pace, so I didn't really feel so bad about feeling tired. We started up the hill towards Krohn Conservatory at a walk. This is the worst hill. It just is. Even when your legs aren't tired, this hill sucks, and after 15 miles, it sucks even more. As Emily and I were walking we heard this sound like a goose flying up behind us. This guy was running up the hill pushing a stroller, and on every exhale he was making this bizarre sound that was like a goose. Emily and I let him pass and then tried not to laugh out loud and he continued ahead of us. We picked up a run and managed to make it to the top. We took one more short break on Victory Parkway before running it in. From Mirror Lake on, I wanted to stop sooooo badly. My legs were hurting, but I just told myself "No, you are not stopping."
Yesterday, I definitely think that the mental part of the run was the hardest, but I made it. Having Emily there made a huge difference. I'm sure that if I had been alone, I would have walked a LOT more. Having someone there to complain with or who can entertain you with stories about college rowing team can really make a difference between a good run and a bad run. So, thanks, Emily! I wouldn't have made it without you!
Making it through that run has definitely helped me get some confidence back. I think I needed a sort of running reality check. I needed to remember that running does not always feel great, but that the pain what makes you stronger. Next weekend is our 20 miler. We are meeting in Newport, which means Eden Park hills and bridges again, but at least this time they will be at the beginning of the run.
Tomorrow's plan is 5.5 miles easy around the neighborhood. Its supposed to be nice out, so I can't wait to enjoy another great day. We were lucky with Saturday's weather, too. It was sunny and about 50 degrees, perfect running weather.
The marathon is coming up so fast, and so is the first run of the Dirt Days Trail Series. That's a series of four trail runs that the Running Spot puts on in different parks. The first race is on April 20th in Ault Park. I'm really excited, but I need to be careful not to wipe out and hurt myself before the marathon.
I think that's all for tonight. It's been one week since I got back from Argentina, and I finally feel like things are mostly back to normal. One more week of tough training, and then it's taper time!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Doubts
Leo and I at our last dinner out
How I survived (yum Brazilian beer)
Obelisco, Argentina's national landmark. It looks like its growing out of my head. I was trying not to look pissed off in this picture.
Dirrrrrty. That sums it up.
I could go on, but I'll just say it wasn't a very good time. On top of it all, when I went out to run for the first time, I wiped out. I tripped on the crappy sidewalk in front of tons of people and scraped up my legs, so I was walking around with a lovely case of Argentine road rash. I tried to take a picture, but the camera flash kept reflecting off of the blinding whitness of my legs and it wouldn't turn out, so you will just have to use your imagination. I ran a total of 3 times. My longest run was 11 miles. I got home this past Saturday feeling exhausted. I think I"m still recovering, physically and emtionally. I held a lot in over those 2 and 1/2 weeks, and it wasn't easy.
This past Wednesday was my first day running with the group since I left. The schedule was 8 miles in O'Bryonville. I felt great for the first two miles, but then I absolutely crashed. I had to take it super slow just to be able to make it back to the store. I'm sure it didn't help that I decided to seriously cut some calories this week to make up for all the crap I ate while on vacation. Today I'm feeling sore and just tired. Hopefully I'm still recovering from the trip, but doubt is whispering in my ear. This Saturday we are scheduled to run 18 miles. My farthest run to date has been 13. I feel so far from ready. I don't know if I can make it 18 miles, let alone 20 the following Saturday. Our coaches did give us another option of doing 16 this week, 12 the next, then 20 with a two week taper. I think I need to wait and see how I feel. Honestly, I'm worried. I feel like those 2 odd weeks really screwed up my training, and I don't know if I get back to where I was.
Doubt... its gotten into my head. Now I don't know if I can get it out. Thinking back, I had the same nervousness before the last two marathons I ran, but I feel like I was better prepared then. Can I do it? I think I need to forget about 4:30 and just focus on staying injury free and having fun. I want to finish this marathon and then focus on Chicago for a personal record. If I can do two marathons in 3 weeks, I can do this... right????
We'll see how it goes on Saturday. I'm not working out tonight because I feel absolutely exhausted and sore. I"m going to try and get a light workout in tomorrow, but nothing too serious before the long run on Saturday morning. I'm going to take it pretty slow (which, unfortunately, means I probably won't be able to keep up with Emily, who is visiting from NY and will be running with our group.) If I have to make it 16, I will. The route is from the store in O'Bryonville to downtown and back. That means Eden Park hills, and at the end of the run (yipee.) I'll report back and let you know how it goes. Pics at the top are from the trip.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Of Treadmills and In-laws
It snowed... a lot. I've kind of been wishing for a nice big snowfall all winter, and I guess I got my wish. I think we got somewhere between 12 and 14 inches. It was kind of fun being snowed in all weekend, but I did start to get a little cabin fever later on Saturday. There was a level 3 snow emergency and a blizzard warning, so the coaches had to reschedule our group run to Sunday. My workout for Saturday was about 2 hours of shoveling snow, which makes me realize just how much upper body strength I lack. When I get back from my trip I definitely need to do something about that. I would like to work out with a trainer a couple times to see if they can help me get into a good routine.
So, I was stuck home on Saturday, which did not help me avoid obsessing about the upcoming trip. I knew I absolutely had to get a workout in some how. I knew the group run was rescheduled, but roads were still not going to be very good. The treadmill was the only option left. This time, I opted for the one at my parents house rather than the gym. At my parents house, I was able to pick out a movie to help keep myself entertained, and I didn't have to feel guilty for being on a treadmill for 2 hours. All I can really say about it is that I set it at 6.0, put on Legends of the Fall, and ran. It wasn't a good time, but I managed to do 11 miles. That is my personal treadmill record. I hope I never have to break it. That is waaaay to long to be running in place. Only Brad Pitt's face was enough to keep me from quitting.
The trip is coming up so fast. We leave on Thursday afternoon for Atlanta. Then from Atlanta we fly to Buenos Aires. We leave Atlanta at about 9:00 p.m. and arrive at about 8:00 a.m. the next morning. Overnight flights suck in general, but at least with this one, the time zone difference is only two hours as opposed to 6 if you go to Europe. We will be there for about 2 1/2 weeks and are staying with his family. With the two of us included, there will be eight people in this house with one bathroom. I'm seriously wondering how this is going to work out, especially because the city shuts off everyone's water at 10 p.m. Leo's mom and sister came here twice when we got married, but I've only met his brothers and father once, five years ago. My memories of his dad are good. He's the opposite of my mother-in-law. He is quiet with a kind smile. That is all I really remember about him. I remember his older brother, Sergio, as friendly, into yoga and sports and macrobiotic diet. His younger brother, Emmanuel, is another story. Emmanuel has some sort of mental illness. Every time I try and get more details, I get a different answer. I think it may be some form of schizophrenia. I only met him once briefly, so getting to know him now should be quite interesting. I've already been warned that I shouldn't take anything he says to me personally. Okay...
My mother-in-law, she is special. From an American point of view, she coddles her children way too much. She still treats them all like babies, but its a cultural difference that I've come to terms with. What I haven't come to terms with is that she and Leo's sister (okay, most of the family) all have this total obsession about food and eating. They have all these strange beliefs about combining foods and how much time you have to wait between eating certain foods or eating and sleeping. They think all certain vegetables aren't very good for you because they are too "yin." Yes, I think its all crazy macrobiotic diet stuff I don't understand. The obsession about food translates into an obsession about weight. On the night before my wedding, my mother-in-law asked "You're not going to get fat, are you?" Now she wonders why I don't just love her to pieces. I also think its strange that she openly admits that Leo (my husband) is her favorite child and is extra special to her. She loves to remind me when we talk that I'm so lucky to have him here with me. It takes all my strength not to say "Yes, he is an adult, and he chose to be here with me. I didn't TAKE him from you, so stop insinuating that I did."
I know I'm making it sound dramatic, and his family really is dramatic. I think that may be a cultural thing, too. They are all super loud and talk over each other all the time. They have weird communication issues (i.e. just last night Leo asked me not to mention to his mom that he drinks coffee. WTF? He is 34 years old, if he wants coffee, he should drink it, and his mom can get over it.)
So, those are my crazy in-laws, in brief. I don't hate them at all, but they're not easy to deal with. Also adding to my feelings of distress about the trip is my experience on our prior trip. We went to Argentina in 2004 to meet Leo's grandmother. (I'm very glad I got to meet her because she passed away about 4 months later.) On that trip, almost everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. Our bed and breakfast was infested with roaches, my sister got food poisoning, we booked a trip to the beach only to find out that our bus tickets were for the wrong date, and got into an argument with Leo's mafioso uncle, so I let his birds out of their cages on the day we left. Oh, and the garbage collectors were on strike so there were giant mountains of garbage all over the place.
So, maybe after reading this you will have a slightly better understanding of why this trip is stressing me the hell out. Not only do I hate flying, but my last experience there was not the greatest. I plan on doing my best to keep up with my training while I am there. That means I have a 15-16 mile, and 11-12 mile long runs while I am down there, and I want to run at least once during the week also. I have a feeling I might need to sneak out more often if we are stuck in that house the whole time. We shall see.
I'm trying to have a positive outlook about the trip (though you probably don't believe that after reading this post.) I have one more group run on Wednesday before we leave. We're meeting at the store and there is a happy hour afterwards, which should be fun. This is probably my last post until I get back, and then I should have plenty of exciting stories to tell. (Hopefully all end well.) Until next time, think of me down in the southern hemisphere!
So, I was stuck home on Saturday, which did not help me avoid obsessing about the upcoming trip. I knew I absolutely had to get a workout in some how. I knew the group run was rescheduled, but roads were still not going to be very good. The treadmill was the only option left. This time, I opted for the one at my parents house rather than the gym. At my parents house, I was able to pick out a movie to help keep myself entertained, and I didn't have to feel guilty for being on a treadmill for 2 hours. All I can really say about it is that I set it at 6.0, put on Legends of the Fall, and ran. It wasn't a good time, but I managed to do 11 miles. That is my personal treadmill record. I hope I never have to break it. That is waaaay to long to be running in place. Only Brad Pitt's face was enough to keep me from quitting.
The trip is coming up so fast. We leave on Thursday afternoon for Atlanta. Then from Atlanta we fly to Buenos Aires. We leave Atlanta at about 9:00 p.m. and arrive at about 8:00 a.m. the next morning. Overnight flights suck in general, but at least with this one, the time zone difference is only two hours as opposed to 6 if you go to Europe. We will be there for about 2 1/2 weeks and are staying with his family. With the two of us included, there will be eight people in this house with one bathroom. I'm seriously wondering how this is going to work out, especially because the city shuts off everyone's water at 10 p.m. Leo's mom and sister came here twice when we got married, but I've only met his brothers and father once, five years ago. My memories of his dad are good. He's the opposite of my mother-in-law. He is quiet with a kind smile. That is all I really remember about him. I remember his older brother, Sergio, as friendly, into yoga and sports and macrobiotic diet. His younger brother, Emmanuel, is another story. Emmanuel has some sort of mental illness. Every time I try and get more details, I get a different answer. I think it may be some form of schizophrenia. I only met him once briefly, so getting to know him now should be quite interesting. I've already been warned that I shouldn't take anything he says to me personally. Okay...
My mother-in-law, she is special. From an American point of view, she coddles her children way too much. She still treats them all like babies, but its a cultural difference that I've come to terms with. What I haven't come to terms with is that she and Leo's sister (okay, most of the family) all have this total obsession about food and eating. They have all these strange beliefs about combining foods and how much time you have to wait between eating certain foods or eating and sleeping. They think all certain vegetables aren't very good for you because they are too "yin." Yes, I think its all crazy macrobiotic diet stuff I don't understand. The obsession about food translates into an obsession about weight. On the night before my wedding, my mother-in-law asked "You're not going to get fat, are you?" Now she wonders why I don't just love her to pieces. I also think its strange that she openly admits that Leo (my husband) is her favorite child and is extra special to her. She loves to remind me when we talk that I'm so lucky to have him here with me. It takes all my strength not to say "Yes, he is an adult, and he chose to be here with me. I didn't TAKE him from you, so stop insinuating that I did."
I know I'm making it sound dramatic, and his family really is dramatic. I think that may be a cultural thing, too. They are all super loud and talk over each other all the time. They have weird communication issues (i.e. just last night Leo asked me not to mention to his mom that he drinks coffee. WTF? He is 34 years old, if he wants coffee, he should drink it, and his mom can get over it.)
So, those are my crazy in-laws, in brief. I don't hate them at all, but they're not easy to deal with. Also adding to my feelings of distress about the trip is my experience on our prior trip. We went to Argentina in 2004 to meet Leo's grandmother. (I'm very glad I got to meet her because she passed away about 4 months later.) On that trip, almost everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. Our bed and breakfast was infested with roaches, my sister got food poisoning, we booked a trip to the beach only to find out that our bus tickets were for the wrong date, and got into an argument with Leo's mafioso uncle, so I let his birds out of their cages on the day we left. Oh, and the garbage collectors were on strike so there were giant mountains of garbage all over the place.
So, maybe after reading this you will have a slightly better understanding of why this trip is stressing me the hell out. Not only do I hate flying, but my last experience there was not the greatest. I plan on doing my best to keep up with my training while I am there. That means I have a 15-16 mile, and 11-12 mile long runs while I am down there, and I want to run at least once during the week also. I have a feeling I might need to sneak out more often if we are stuck in that house the whole time. We shall see.
I'm trying to have a positive outlook about the trip (though you probably don't believe that after reading this post.) I have one more group run on Wednesday before we leave. We're meeting at the store and there is a happy hour afterwards, which should be fun. This is probably my last post until I get back, and then I should have plenty of exciting stories to tell. (Hopefully all end well.) Until next time, think of me down in the southern hemisphere!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Anxiety
I have been perusing the blog universe these past few days, which has made me realize how very sub-par my little blog really is. I'm going to try and make an effort over the next few weeks (or more likely, when I get back from my trip) to jazz it up a little.
Right now, my brain is filled with a fog. Its an anxiety-induced fog. You see, in exactly 1 week at this time, I will probably be boarding my first of two flights that will take me to Argentina. I guess some people (maybe a lot of people) would say "cool." Not so for me, though. When I was a bout 14, I developed a bad case of fear of flying. It turned into a full blown phobia that I have been battling for the last 10 years of my life. I am an anxious person in general. Dealing with anxious feelings (or "de-escalating" in therapy speak) is not something I learned as a child, so I grew into a seriously anxious adult.
I have tried various methods to deal with my flying phobia: medications, therapy, online courses, and "biting the bullet." All these things have helped in their own way, but I still struggle with my fears. The worst thing for me now is the anticipation, which is what is going on right now. I think that once we are on our way, I will be fine, but right now I am struggling to keep my brain from going into the "what-if" sequence. Thinking "what-if" is something that comes so naturally to me, that my brain will automatically go there if I don't keep myself occupied.
When I was a kid, I loved flying. I can remember feeling like it was a big adventure, and how I was so lucky to be able to travel to places that a lot of other people couldn't go. I wish I could get those feelings back. I wish I could look forward to flying like I did then instead of dreading it. I'm not sure exactly what happened to my brain between then and now, but somewhere along the way I lost the ability to enjoy things in that simple way. I don't want to be afraid, but my body seems to make its own choices sometimes.
So, for the next six days I will be doing my best to distract myself. Exercise plays a big part in that. Not only does it distract me, but it helps burn away the stress hormones my body is producing. This past Tuesday is when the anticipatory anxiety really hit me with full force. That was probably partly due to the fact that I missed my usual Monday run once again. This time it was work and rain that kept me inside. When I got home Tuesday and the rain had stopped, I wanted to take advantage. I thought, what better way to de-stress. So, I set out with five miles in mind. As soon as I started running, though, I could feel the toll that freaking out had taken on my body. Being super anxious for extended periods of time (more than, say, half an hour) tends to drain me. I managed to drag myself through three miles, but my body was worn out. I headed for home without doing the second half of my usual loop. I think it did help, though, because I woke up yesterday feeling much better. Luckily, we also had a group run scheduled, all I had to do was show up.
We met at the Running Spot. The plan was seven miles through O'Bryonville and Hyde Park. The route had lots of little loops and turns. I was dreading it as we headed out, because I knew there were several pretty big hills we would have to run, but by the end of the run, I was feeling great. The weather was perfect for running, and the stupid ice is finally gone (until tomorrow when it snows again.) I may try and get a few miles in tonight again while the sidewalks are still clear.
This past Saturday, I ditched the group and ran with two girls from work. I was kind of sad that they listened to their I-pods the entire time, but I ended up being faster than them anyway. So, at least I didn't have any guilt about running ahead of them. It was a nice 10.5 miles in Northern Kentucky. There were some pretty good hills there, too. As much as I hate them, I know the hills are great prep for the Flying Pig.
On Saturday we are meeting in O'Bryonville again for 13 miles. Its supposed to be snowing, but if its just snow, I think it will be okay. It actually sounds kind of fun. I have Yak trax and I have only used them once since I got them. We'll see how the weather pans out.
Until then, I will be trying to find my way through the anxiety brain fog and starting to pack my bags. My husband and I have not seen his family in four years. Next week when we arrive, we will all be together. He deserves this time with them, so I need to get over my issues and enjoy this trip!
Right now, my brain is filled with a fog. Its an anxiety-induced fog. You see, in exactly 1 week at this time, I will probably be boarding my first of two flights that will take me to Argentina. I guess some people (maybe a lot of people) would say "cool." Not so for me, though. When I was a bout 14, I developed a bad case of fear of flying. It turned into a full blown phobia that I have been battling for the last 10 years of my life. I am an anxious person in general. Dealing with anxious feelings (or "de-escalating" in therapy speak) is not something I learned as a child, so I grew into a seriously anxious adult.
I have tried various methods to deal with my flying phobia: medications, therapy, online courses, and "biting the bullet." All these things have helped in their own way, but I still struggle with my fears. The worst thing for me now is the anticipation, which is what is going on right now. I think that once we are on our way, I will be fine, but right now I am struggling to keep my brain from going into the "what-if" sequence. Thinking "what-if" is something that comes so naturally to me, that my brain will automatically go there if I don't keep myself occupied.
When I was a kid, I loved flying. I can remember feeling like it was a big adventure, and how I was so lucky to be able to travel to places that a lot of other people couldn't go. I wish I could get those feelings back. I wish I could look forward to flying like I did then instead of dreading it. I'm not sure exactly what happened to my brain between then and now, but somewhere along the way I lost the ability to enjoy things in that simple way. I don't want to be afraid, but my body seems to make its own choices sometimes.
So, for the next six days I will be doing my best to distract myself. Exercise plays a big part in that. Not only does it distract me, but it helps burn away the stress hormones my body is producing. This past Tuesday is when the anticipatory anxiety really hit me with full force. That was probably partly due to the fact that I missed my usual Monday run once again. This time it was work and rain that kept me inside. When I got home Tuesday and the rain had stopped, I wanted to take advantage. I thought, what better way to de-stress. So, I set out with five miles in mind. As soon as I started running, though, I could feel the toll that freaking out had taken on my body. Being super anxious for extended periods of time (more than, say, half an hour) tends to drain me. I managed to drag myself through three miles, but my body was worn out. I headed for home without doing the second half of my usual loop. I think it did help, though, because I woke up yesterday feeling much better. Luckily, we also had a group run scheduled, all I had to do was show up.
We met at the Running Spot. The plan was seven miles through O'Bryonville and Hyde Park. The route had lots of little loops and turns. I was dreading it as we headed out, because I knew there were several pretty big hills we would have to run, but by the end of the run, I was feeling great. The weather was perfect for running, and the stupid ice is finally gone (until tomorrow when it snows again.) I may try and get a few miles in tonight again while the sidewalks are still clear.
This past Saturday, I ditched the group and ran with two girls from work. I was kind of sad that they listened to their I-pods the entire time, but I ended up being faster than them anyway. So, at least I didn't have any guilt about running ahead of them. It was a nice 10.5 miles in Northern Kentucky. There were some pretty good hills there, too. As much as I hate them, I know the hills are great prep for the Flying Pig.
On Saturday we are meeting in O'Bryonville again for 13 miles. Its supposed to be snowing, but if its just snow, I think it will be okay. It actually sounds kind of fun. I have Yak trax and I have only used them once since I got them. We'll see how the weather pans out.
Until then, I will be trying to find my way through the anxiety brain fog and starting to pack my bags. My husband and I have not seen his family in four years. Next week when we arrive, we will all be together. He deserves this time with them, so I need to get over my issues and enjoy this trip!
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